I so got own'd by the Oracle.

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Me: Who are you?
The Oracle: I am Pythia, the Oracle of Delphi.

Me: Pythia? That's a neat name
The Oracle: I’m having a hard time interpreting you.

Me: Why are you having a hard time interpreting me?
The Oracle: The communists are to blame.

Me: But isn't ideal communism the perfect society?
The Oracle: Hmm yes.

Me: Then why blame them?
The Oracle: Your personal properties are the root cause.

Me: So I'm a communist?
The Oracle: Yes.

Me: I knew it! Are you a communist?
The Oracle: Let’s keep this on a professional level.

Me: Okay. Who is my true love?
The Oracle: Jerry Bruckheimer. This is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Me: Jerry? Like short for Jerrietta?
The Oracle: I speak only English, not Ancient Yatvingian or Manichaean Middle Persian.

Me: Why not?
The Oracle: It’s the direct result of how you were raised.

Me: I was raised for you to know languages?
The Oracle: I’m in a hurry here, do you have something else on your mind?

Me: Fine. Who is my true love again?
The Oracle: Jay Leno. Please don’t kill the messenger for telling you this.

Me: Why are you calling me a homosexual?
The Oracle: The Axis of Evil is to blame.

Me: But doesn't the axis consist of Communists?
The Oracle: Hmm. You could ask me any question in the world and you come up with this?

Me: Do you have a better question?
The Oracle: No, I don’t.

Me: Well then, don't criticize me
The Oracle: Let’s do something else. Are you dating someone?

Me: Yeah. Will she be my wife?
The Oracle: If that’s a question then I am intelligent.

Me: Will she be my wife?
The Oracle: Not a chance.

Me: Why not?
The Oracle: Your personal properties are the root cause.

Me: Are you calling me a jerk?
The Oracle: No, how could you even think of such a thing?

Me: Why did you answer my question with a question?
The Oracle: Oh, you humans. You imagine all events have a cause and a consequence. The world is not like that.

Me: It isn't?
The Oracle: I don’t see what you mean.

Me: The world isn't like that?
The Oracle: I’m in a hurry here, do you have something else on your mind?

Me: Why are you so random?
The Oracle: Religious fanticism is behind this tragedy.

Me: The Catholics?
The Oracle: I don’t see what you mean.

Me: Are the Catholics behind this tragedy?
The Oracle: Without a shed of doubt.

Me: So Communists are good, and Catholics are bad?
The Oracle: Yes.

Me: Are you a Communist?
The Oracle: No I’m not.

Me: Why aren't you a Communist?
The Oracle: The cause is past. The consequences are future. Keep your eye on the future. This is sensitive information and you must keep it to yourself. Got it?

Me: What does that mean?
The Oracle: Pain. I can imagine the shock.

Me: Why must you be so confusing, Oracle?
The Oracle: Quite frankly, it is your fault.

Me: Why does it always come back to me?
The Oracle: Because there is still some love left in the world. But don’t let this affect your psychological balance.

Me: Aren't you just avoiding the question?
The Oracle: Certainly!

Me: WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?
The Oracle: Computer game violence is the root cause.

Me: It SO is not.
The Oracle: I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

Me: Are you trying to irritate me?
The Oracle: No I’m not.

Me: Don't you realize you're doing a good job?
The Oracle: Yes I am.

Me: ...I hate you.
The Oracle: That’s too bad.